Zelda phantom hourglass review

“I’ve finally finished my first Zelda game!” I exclaimed close to tears and threw my DS on the bed.
Not often have I felt so lost after playing a game. ZPH is a strange mix of genuine entertainment and mind boggling boredom… But I’m getting ahead of myself.

People have always told me I should play Zelda. And believe me I’ve tried, but all the zelda games I’ve tried (a link to the past, Wind waker) have run the train of enjoyment straight into the great brick wall of irritation and boredom. Mostly because of completely illogical puzzles and confusing control schemes. (Don’t get me started on these games…)

But ZPH seemed different, the controls are wonderful and no matter what odd things I’m trying to do with Link (or my case “Lard”) I find myself doing it with ease and enjoyment.
Then I run into a few problems…

  • Why the hell am I playing the temple of suck over and over again?
  • Why is the game filled to the brim with puzzles that break the logical boundaries of the game making the puzzles impossible to guess unless your one of those people with enough time and lack of brain that you’ll actually try everything until the puzzle is solved.
  • Why can I save the game at all times when it only actually saves at certain stages anyway?
  • No, Nintendo, I don’t wanna play through that god damned temple again!
  • Sailing is boring. In ZPH’s defense there are golden frogs that let you teleport around the sea, which brings me to my next point…
  • Why the hell is it so hard to hit the damn golden frogs?! To be able to teleport around the sea I have to spend more time sailing around firing at the damn frogs then I would completing the game!

It’s not a bad game, just with some major faults that seem unforgivable coming, as they do, from Nintendo. Which is supposed to know how to make fun and accessible games…

I give this game a weak 2/5. Want to spend money on portable entertainment? Buy a comic book or a book. This is just bad value for my money. Hope I wasn’t to bitter for you guys, sorry about that.