Is self help narcissistic?

This tweet by Nat got me thinking:

“Hard to say where the line is, but there’s undeniably a degree of narcissism to the “self-improvement” “self-care” “self-work” arena. Maybe instead of obsessing over yourself so much you should be raising a kid or volunteering in an old folks home.” — Nat Eliason

There is something true about this. We all need to work on ourselves, to improve. But often the same people come back to the same category of self help. For me it’s productivity.

I’m always looking for that one hack that will give me musk like productivity. Which is ludicrous. There’s not gonna be a trick to that. But decades of working hard.

Maybe we are reading these books, and looking at our flaws, as a way to focus on ourselves instead of working out in the world. Very much the fault that Narcissus makes when he gazes into the pool instead of noticing the nymph beside him.

And Nat is right that helping others, and having other rely on us, is a shortcut to getting out of your own head and back into the real world. This is why so many religions and therapies focus on service of others.

Maybe getting a kid, or helping others out, will give you more than that next self help book. Maybe doing something will help with your anxieties more than learning about something.

Of course it can probably swing too hard the other way as well. You might just as easily work on helping others so hard that you neglect your own problems and flaws. To the ultimate detriment of the people you are trying to help. I doubt this is as common though.